An Immense Ego
by Zayatzz
Summary: In this story, Sadie is very moody. The Doctor is keeping her under control. I want Van Statten to be here so please help me on storylines! Sherlock and John MIGHT come in. No Johnlock/Marthor (Martha Doctor or John Sherlock). Sadie Martha develop a complicated FRIENDSHIP. I worked very hard on this, so please read! I will be updating soon. Mostly Who/Kane. No romance here, guys.


Prologue

 **Sadie's POV**

"This is the worst idea you've ever come up with, and you've came up with things that got you killed-10 times!" I growled as we walked through the front doors of Hope Hospital.

"C'mon Sadie. It'll be at least mildly entertaining." The Doctor said enthusiastically.

"See here," I said. "The thing is you're trying to be a normal bloke. You are NOT a normal bloke."

"Sadie, come ON."

Wait. Hold yer horses, as the Americans say. I should probably introduce myself. I'm Sadie Kane, technically Daughter of Osiris, the God of the Underworld, Boyfriend of Anubis, the Jackal-Dude-Who-Is-Dad's-Assistant. I know what you're thinking.

Sadie, those are, like, Egyptian gods. They're not real.

Oh, they are much more real than you think.

My friend's name is Theta, but he prefers to go by the Doctor, as Doctor Theta doesn't sound as dramatic. He is an alien from, well, outer space. Theta, I mean, the Doctor, is from the planet Gallifrey, in the constellation of Kasterberous.

He is 904 years old.

My brother and I met him because he crashed his ship into Giza, in the reign of my great-great-whatever Grandpa, Rameses, father of Setne, my favorite Elvis impressionist. I'm sure he fully expected a British man in a suit and trainers to fly into a pyramid. He probably sighed and said,

"Well, another alien crashed into our sacred tomb. Whoop-de-dang-doo."

As you can guess, we thought he was a god. Specifically, Thoth. FYI, I have met Thoth, him and the Doctor are nothing alike. The first time we met Thoth (me and my bro) he made us blow up Elvis's house. Long story.

I met the Doctor because I happened to be in Egypt at the time, to try to communicate with Sobek in the Nile, mostly because I have always met Sobek in other rivers, and I guess he had, like, river sickness and was always ticked off if I was, in, say the Thames.

Looking back on it, I guess it wasn't really necessary to go all the way to Egypt through a portal. Or by Kite Express.

Anyway, he passes his time by saving civilizations in his TARDIS, a machine, that, aside from making phones and giving out free crisps through a food slot, also travels through space and time.

He says he is Time Lord (not pompous at all), and also that he is the last of them, and that his blue box is the last TARDIS. Just FYI, the TARDIS is a sentient being, not just a spaceship that is bigger on the inside. She's very cool.

Also, the Doctor has a bicardiovascular system and a respiratory bypass system.

Basically, he has two hearts and can hold his breath for a really long time. Plus, he is super smart. His IQ is probably somewhere around 5 million (but don't tell him I said that. Trust me, this guy doesn't need an ego boost).

OK, end of a long explanation.

Anyway, the Doctor and I checked into the hospital because there was some pretty weird stuff going on lately. Of course, Theta's convinced that there is an E.T. hiding in the hospital.

 **'Lo! This is (insert name) speaking. Um, so how did you like it? Obviously, this is my first fanfic ever, and since I like a challenge, I'm doing a crossover. Just saying, this is not one of those boring fanfics when the writer is too lazy to come up with original ideas, and just piggybacks off of Moffet. UGH, you have now IDEA how many times I've looked through fanfics and all there are is stupid rewrites. (To people who just transcript the words: Heh. They aren't that bad. Heh heh. Please don't kill me, murder me, and assasinate me 15 times) But you might see a line from another episode here and there, if I can't come up with anything. If it's not too horrible then let me know. But I do appreciate critics, so just leave reviews people. Once again, thanks for reading. There are probably a ton of Kane-Who fanfics, so thanks for reading this one! :)! Plus, if you're curious, I am not English, not Irish, not Scottish, not Welsh. (Sings) America, America. God shed his grace on thee! And crown thy good… Are my writing skills deservin thou to crown them good? Not? Please leave reviews because I don't need an ego boost, either. Coughreviewscough. Thanks! Oh, just saying, I don't own Doctor Who or the Kane Trilogy in case Steven Moffet or Rick Riordan comes on and reads my fanfic (creeps). And thanks for putting up with bad me gremmor and speling mist8ks.**

Split Personalities (Literally)

 **Hi! Chapter one is, get ready, HERE! Well, it came in with the Prologue, so it shouldn't be a surprise, but yeah. I should mention that I will tell you how the Doctor and Sadie met (And why Carter isn't with her) in a bit more detail, but not in this chapter or Chapter 2. SORRY!**

 **Doctor's POV**

I looked up at one of the medical students, trying to calm down my racing hearts.

Sadie was beside me, squeezing my hand. Jones let the scope rest against my shirt. I saw her eyes widen as she sensed the extra organ.

"Sir…" she trailed off.

"Yes, Miss Jones?"

"I think you better take a look at this."

The attending physician took the scope from her. "Miss Jones, what's wrong?"

Jones was trying not to shiver.

The man felt both hearts beating strongly from underneath the shirt.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he accused the students.

"What do you mean, sir?" questioned one of them, the blonde.

I thought I could detect a small shadow of a snake. It slithered up into the doctor's (irony) throat.

The physician shuddered.

Then a small, snakelike smile came onto his lips.

The smile was devoid of happiness, and when I looked into his eyes, there was a swirling mass of red that made me dizzy. I would have fallen if I wasn't already sitting up.

The man's eyes glowed red. He turned to Sadie and I. The man's head tilted to the side, and around him, there were little shreds of firey energy, destroying even the dust that settled near him. Hot winds swirled around his threatening figure.

Even little hieroglyphs swirled around him, in one sign.

Isfet.

"How… nice to see you again, Sadie. Pray, do you recognize me?"

"Apophis." Sadie stated, though I could detect a hint of fear in her voice.

From what I remembered from pouring over mythology, Apophis was the Chaos snake, giant and massive and, above all, deadly.

"Whee." I sarcastically stated.

Then I realized that I said that out loud.

The medical student that first came over to me stared at the teacher's glowing red eyes.

"Sir? Are you OK?" she asked.

Then she drew back. Apophis's eyes focused on hers. Red-tinted smoke poured out of his mouth and into the other students.

When they drew back, all their deep crimson eyes focused on Sadie and I. A snake that reminded me horribly of the Master in my eighth incarnation swirled around them, now 5 meters in length.

The Students (with a capital) reached into their pockets and pulled out various sharp objects.

Then they advanced.

From outside, I heard the rain. I looked out the window.

"The rain is _going up._ " I said softly.

 **Sadie's POV**

The Doctor **rolled** off his bed.

Of course, I've already learned that we can't avoid trouble, so why not just flop off your hospital bed while being patrolled by scissor and pen-wielding medical students of death?

"Omph!" he grunted as he hit the floor.

He rolled across the floor and jumped up.

Sadly, once we ran across the hallway to find the emergency exit, we couldn't leave because London had moved, or we had.

Or, actually, London was in the sky.

On the bright side, at least we are sealed in a bubble around a hospital with a ton of people and will likely suffocate… oh wait. That's not a good thing, is it?

On the really bright side, we have an actual chance to get out of this alive!

The Students were settling down. Apophis was probably bored of mortal doctor's brains. The one that examined Theta, Jones, I think, looked out of the window.

"We are in SPACE!" she explained.

Yeah, all hail Cpt. Obvious.

"What was your name?" I pried.

"Martha." was all she said.

"And it was Jones, wasn't it?" said a voice behind me, making me jump.

"Agh! Friggin…" I managed.

"Well, Martha Jones, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, Sadie." He glared at me like, _Be polite for the god's sakes, Sadie Kane._

"Pleased to meet," I coughed awkwardly. We shook hands reluctantly.

Over time I grew to respect and even befriend Martha, but at the time I was still sore from the "Let's kill the alien and demigod with various medical tools" thing.

The Doctor and I actually have a telepathic link (the whole Thoth mix-up took some surprising turns), and I used it now.

 _Is there a balcony or veranda in the hospital?_ I thought.

 _Ask Martha._ He replied.

I did.

She led us to a balcony in the lounge. There was a sort of shimmering coming off of us in a round sphere. Of course I'm not stupid (shut UP, Doctor!) so I knew-

"Good thing there's a force field," I commented. Martha looked at me strangely, and I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"You guys talk like you see this sort of thing every day!'' she exclaimed.

"We're used to it," I replied.

"Who are you two? What are you?" she asked.

Oh, well I could just say that the Doctor was an alien and that I was an Egyptian demigod who was once possessed by Isis (multiple times), but that probably wouldn't have rolled over well. Instead I said,

"He's my uncle. He was-admitted here for severe chest pains." I stuttered out. I could tell she didn't believe me. Nobody was that stupid.

"I heard you mention 'Apophis'.'" She frowned. "Isn't that a character in Egyptian mythology (I was never very good at mythology in high school)? Is that code for something? Are you two spies or criminals? Is there something going on I don't know about?" she fired in rapid succession.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you all the answers to those." I retorted. "Except for the last one, and the answer is YES."

The Doctor looked at me. "Don't get your temper up, Sadie Kane. Or you will have me to deal with."

I stared back at him with equal determination. He narrowed his eyes.

I slumped in defeat. "Fine, Mum."

He smirked.

I nearly lunged for him, but I kept my cool.

"Martha, when did you come to the hospital today?" I asked, desperate for a change of subject.

"Well, I came at-wait, that's funny. I don't remember coming to the hospital this morning."

A sinking feeling grew in my stomach.

"Why are we even here. Who would want us?" I asked.

"Wait-don't answer that question." I added.

The Doctor turned around.

"Why don't you ask them…" he trailed off.

I turned to where his gaze was pointed. I cursed inwardly. Outside the force field there was-

 **Hey guys! Sorry for the cliffhanger. I know Sadie doesn't have really have anger issues, but this is a fanfic, and she's like 17 in this, so she is pretty much a cork about to pop. Sorry to all you people who like Sadie the way she is. But she's still cheeky and witty and always brimming with cheap shots, so that part of her stayed the same. Plus, I know the dog pile made no sense, but maybe the Doctor is just a David Tennant looking 11 (Matt Smith). But for now, Peace! I also have the chapter right here, but whatevs.**

 **HI! Just saying, if you think my chapters are too short, just tell me and I'll combine some. Thanks!**

We Are Tested By BCRB (Big Chief Rhino Boy)

 **Sadie's POV**

-my favorite world eating snake of all time. Apophis. Plus, though this is slightly irrelevant, some little-no, GIANT rhino dudes.

"Judoon," the Doctor said, right when I said "Apophis."

"Sorry, what?" Martha questioned. The Doctor motioned to me.

"Erm, big snake dude, that's Apophis, the Chaos snake, who can sort of swim through layers of Ma'at. It's a very complicated story."

"Hah ha. I need to actually be serious for a second." Martha said

I felt my face burning with anger, and my heart was beating as fast as both of the Doctor's combined. My fists were clenched so hard they were white. She had no IDEA how bad Apophis was.

I let out a breath.

I shifted my gaze from the floor to the Doctor. He got the hint.

"The rhinos are called the Judoon. Bit like intergalactic police, for hire. Um, they aren't too bad. As long as you deal with them correctly."

"Are we dealing with them correctly? Do they, pardon my Spock, come in peace?" Martha asked.

"As you can see, they're marching towards us with, like, GUNS. I don't think they 'come in peace'" I snapped back.

She shrunk back, hurt to be insulted.

"I come in peace!" the Doctor said cheerfully. I rolled my eyes.

"Theta, NOT HELPING."

"Isn't Theta a math symbol?" Martha asked.

"It's a Greek letter. I named it after me, because, well, I'm amazing. Plus I-'' I cut off the Doctor's display of his ego.

"How can you name a letter after yourself? Besides, a Theta is part of the ancient Greek alphabet. How can you have a 2,000 year old letter named after you?" Martha said in a hurry.

"Well, as I was trying to say, it was sort of a funny story. See, I was dealing with a Phoenician named Becharus, and-" I cut him off again ,because this time he was getting on my nerves.

"Erm, you don't want to know." I said nervously.

"You two really DO belong in a mental ward!" she teased. I could tell she was trying to lighten up (forcefully), but it still lifted our spirits just a bit.

I laughed. Maybe Martha was all right.

"Lets go inside. I'm gonna get frostbite. Follow me, spaceman." I said through chattering teeth.

I turned around to go back inside. We stepped through the doors.

"You know, I can't believe you two are from SPACE!" Martha said. "I mean, there's no denying aliens are real, but you two look so NORMAL."

I started, "Well, the Doctor's an alien (no point in lying to her now) and I'm-"

My hopes for a golden future with Martha and I being friends vanished like the Doctor in a room full of fashion designers.

Does he EVER change?

Still, the fact that he never gets out of his suit sadly didn't prevent Big Chief Rhino Boy standing right in front of me, metal device in hand.

So I guess I won't have a very long future anyway.

BCRB ran his metal device over my torso.

"Human." BCRB declared. It did the same for Martha.

When it came to the Doctor, it paused. BCRB ran his (I think) scanner over the Doctor's shirt.

"Non-Human." it stated.

"WHA-" Martha began.

"Do you know the Doctor's favorite word?" I asked her.

"No…" she said.

"RUN!" I shouted.

I paused. I always wanted to scream that in my brother's ear last time I saw him…

 **Sorry this chapter was so short. I have been having a bit of writer's block because of Chanuka, so I won't be writing that much in the next few days. As you probably guessed, the next chapter is going to be an entire flashback to the time when Sadie lost her bro (oops) and met the Doctor. I also want Van Statten to be in here, but I can't find an opening for him. If anyone can suggest a plot with him in there, I'm all ears. Until I upload that chapter, Peace!**

I Get A New Phone.

 **HELLO! It's the sixth night of Hanukkah and so far, I got OK presents, but one of them was (I kid you not) a bathrobe. Oh yeah, and in this chapter you will find out why Carter and Sadie got separated.**

I was flying, flying as fast as I could in kite form. My brother, Carter Kane, was next to me, in falcon form. Do we sound like the Animorphs? Whatever.

The wind whistling through my ears, I didn't hear the noise at first. Then it grew in volume. Carter motioned for me to fly towards the noise, because we do smart things like that.

I turned to the side and-sorry, WHAT! There was a friggin FLYING police box, like the ones used in the 60s. It started spazzing out and crashed in the sand below us. What was that thing?

Naturally, we had to find out.

For a second, when we were close to the box, I started to feel dizzy and stopped flying momentarily, which is a great move if you're hundreds of meters in the air.

Then we stopped spiraling and focused on our task.

We veered down and landed on the sand next to it. Before we could change back, a man stumbled out, coughing and sputtering. Smoke was coming out of the doors.

"Blimey, that hurt," he complained. The man had a brown suit, ruffled brown hair, and trainers to go along with the suit, because he was normal that way. Plus, he was British!

Then he noticed us.

"Hello! Um, do you mind telling me where I am?" he asked. He crouched down to meet our falcon height.

I sighed. Did this man talk to birds?

"Egypt, 2016." I chirped, because when you're a kite, chirping is the only way to communicate.

"Egypt, huh?'' the man said. He muttered some more things, and took a device out of his (later I learned, bigger on the inside) pockets.

Did he just understand us? Was he a god? I assumed that this was Thoth, because Thoth is the sort of guy who would build a machine as silly as that. Still, I couldn't sense any godly aura, but Thoth is very good at hiding it.

I started to turn into a person, because I don't want Thoth to see us as birds, and Thoth knew us, and was on our side (sort of). I motioned for Carter to follow me.

Thoth also thought BBQ sauce was pure magic, so I don't know about his taste, but at least Thoth won't kill us on sight (hopefully).

He gasped when we started to turn into humans.

"Wow! How are you DOING that? Which planet is this? I've never been in this desert planet before! And that should be basically impossible, since I have seen all of the planets in at least the Milky Way, and I've been to a bunch of other galixies." Thoth (I think) fired off in rapid succession.

"Thoth, you know us! Is this another experiment that gives you amnesia? Never mind…" I trailed off as the man scanned us with his thing-a-mi-bobber.

"Blasted thing doesn't work right. Damn!" he said. Or maybe something a little stronger. " Why do you read as humans?" he asked us.

"Um, because we are." Carter said slowly. He shook his head.

"Are you two OK?" the British bloke asked in concern.

"Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing," Carter muttered.

"What was that?" the man asked.

"Umm, I was just about to ask you what was that thing?" Carter ventured, gesturing at the police box.

"Right! That's my spaceship!" he said with pride. "You can have a look at it if you want." he offered.

I sighed and lowered my vision into the Duat. I expected to see an ibis-headed god. Instead, when I saw him, I frowned.

Wasn't this Thoth?

Instead, I saw a middle aged man with big, sad eyes and a battle torn face. What I frowned at was his chest.

Instead of seeing one singular heart, I saw two.

Did this guy have two hearts?

I lowered my vision deeper and saw a being that was emitting pure light, slowing down and speeding things up with a flick of his hand. Doing this while also seeing everything that was long ago, everything that is in the now, and all the possible futures.

I didn't notice Carter slipping off, turning into a falcon, and disappearing robotically, as if under a stimulation, his eyes blinking red.

To check my theory of a two-hearted dude, I slowly reached out to feel the guy's heartbeat. He shrunk at the contact, and then his eyes widened, at the same time mine did the same.

I felt two hearts beating strongly under his suit and tie.

"What are you?" we said in unison.

I decided that we should introduce ourselves, because we are British, after all. Well, I think he's British, anyway.

"I'm Sadie." I reached out my hand. He took it.

"John Smith." he said. I know he was lying. I held the Feather of Truth once, so I know what I'm talking about.

"Real name, please." I asked, but it was more of a statement.

His eyes glinted.

"Hold still." he warned. He put his hands around my face and closed his eyes. I flinched at the contact. Then I saw… images. I can't explain what it was like in the Doctor's mind.

Over the chaos that was ensuing in my head I managed to rummage through his memories, and he did the same to me.

Besides finding some embarrassing photos to put on Instagram, I learned more than I needed to about him. Including his secret name. I won't say it, but still…

The Doctor broke the connection. We fell apart, gasping and stepping backwards.

"That… was the most… horrifying experience… ever!" I said between breaths.

 _And I've been scarred by Oprah!_ I thought. I felt a little scratching trying to get past my mental barriers. Because I am intelligent like this, I let the foreign creature into my mind.

 _WYD,_ I heard the Doctor's voice in my mind. Why did he know text talk?

Whatever.

I looked at him. "Can't you just talk?" I asked him in exasperation.

He started laughing. Then he stopped.

"You might want to turn into a kite now." he said.

His face was deadly serious, so I didn't question it. When I stopped changing, I noticed that there were distant horns blowing in the back round.

I scanned the sandy biome with my awesome kite powers and detected a massive group of evil-looking sword-wielding ancient Egyptian foot soldiers (blimey, that was a mouthful).

Of course, the Doctor waved them over.

I won't go into the complications of this whole story.

All you need to know is that we were caught, brought to the court of Rameses, and then the court of Osiris, granted life again because my dad is awesome (and another whole super complicated story), and brought back to the TARDIS, where I got a new phone.

The most interesting and unusual part of this is the phone.

 **OK, just if that wasn't clear, Carter was abducted by a mystery power... Sadie wasn't aware until it was too late. Plus, Sadie got a new phone, because there are no electronics allowed in the afterlife. I will try to post stories as soon as I can, so hang tight! I'll give a cookie to the person who can figure out who abducted Carter.**


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